ON THE AIRWAVES — By Lakshmi Kothaneth — It is the last few days of the month of Ramadhan. In our programme, Body, Mind and Soul, Shaikh Khalfan al Esry had already established the third part of Ramadhan is for salvation. So that is going to be the focus in this week’s discussions. Listeners have been addressing their questions to Shaikh Khalfan through the phone line 24602058 or by texting on 90406. The discussions in the programme this year too have been interesting as previous years. Do you want to know how you are as a person?
Shaikh Khalfan says that all that you have to do is list out five people you spend your time with mostly other than your family and people you deal with at work. The average of the five people put together is your personality. Let us think about it, after all it’s only people you can relate to who would come into your list of favourite friends. Why would you spend time with people who stress you out?
Sometimes you avoid people because of personality clash or due to opposing ideas. This is related to values, if you look at the issue closely. Values are what you have been brought up by combined teachings of family and educational institutions.
As you grow up you also define what is wrong and right. I suppose that is why the teenage years are so important when it comes to keeping company.
Whom you spend your time with is also shaping those values you are going to have as a grown-up person. In many situations by the time a child hit the teens, he is confused on his identity.
Who is cooler — his parents or his counterpart in school who seemed to be the epitome of the current time?
Somehow the teenager feels his parents are outdated. Whatever they say is old fashioned. It is the changing times they say in their minds.
Soon they withdraw as they feel they cannot relate to their parents. The secrecy angers the parents further until the splitting of ideas are quite distinct.
But can parents control whom their children spend their time with.
To a certain age of course parents have the control and if they are lucky within those early formative years the seniors in the family have been successful in embedding the values in the youngsters.
There is no other way than spending time with the youngsters.
I have often wondered if it is the level of confidence that keeps children out of trouble?
The confidence comes in from knowing that their family is strong and happy. Healthy families have an advantage I suppose.
There is another issue as well. Youngsters are having the best time of their life. Do you know why? They are living in ‘Now’.
Children live the moment. When we become adults we are sorry about our past and even has resentment about it and have fear of the future. We are totally missing out on the present.
This is how Shaikh Khalfan explains the formula for success and disaster: Success — a few simple disciplines you practise every day. Disaster — a few simple errors in judgement.
To distinguish we need a clear mind. That is why Shaikh Khalfan says the ultimate in success is peace of mind. And he stresses, “we have to be selective in choosing friends.”