OUTLOOK — By Majed Al Sulaimany —
• The person who severs the bond of kinship (family) will not enter Paradise. — The Hadith (Sahih al Bukhari)
• Family is just accident. They don't mean to get on your nerves. They don't even mean to be your family, they just are. — Marsha Norman
• A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. — Buddha.
• Families are forever, and have always wondered if the slogan was meant as a promise or a threat. — Brady Udall
• All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. — Leo Tolstoy
A long time ago a good family sent me the following: Which I will share with you today on this Happy Day of Eid. He sent me this with the advent and arrival of my first twin girls. He meant well. He just said:
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn...
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight...
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive...
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself...
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy...
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel envy...
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty...
But
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient...
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident...
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative...
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love...
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves...
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is...
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice...
If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous...
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him...
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live.
Long time ago when our late father was alive, in our usual Friday family get-together there were the usual now and then disagreements. Like in most times the source and issue at stake was just minor and insignificant, where the best course of action was 'to agree to disagree' and move on! But like I always say: After offices the family is where people most misbehave and the worst of people, their nature and their character and personality come out!
So poor dad was saying to me: If your mother and I are gone you are supposed to be the de facto head of this family whether you like it or not, and whether you are rich or not, whether you are powerful and influential or not, and whether you are still respected and esteemed or not. It just does not make any difference or change to the situation but you will still be that head. It is like if your nose smells you cannot cut it because the loser is you. That smelling nose are some of the family members or the 'black sheep' of the family in slang!
It is not an easy task for you but the most important thing is to maintain respect and control more by persuasion and diplomacy and tact rather than wanting to impose yourself on others your views, outlooks, focuses and whatever else!
People will challenge you, people will try to upset and annoy you, people will try to bring you down, to disgrace and embarrass you, but you must still maintain a cool presence of mind, and try your level best to maintain as a leader by example and demonstration in life — not empty words — but being real, practical and realistic!
Show by example and in demonstrative guidance and leadership, not by trying short term and quick measures that will only backfire and turn a bad situation worse and make you as the Loser rather than the Winner! My father was not that much educated but he was a very wise man indeed! Sadly my father had passed away before he could see his son writing!
Please do take the time and efforts on this Eid to be together with the family and the relatives — the friends. Please do not forget to keep in touch and in contact with also those in home towns and villages — and those abroad too!
Eid Mubarak! Please take extra care and precaution and please visit my upgraded and new website: www.bethesafedriver.com and let us pray for all those in wars and troubles and cannot celebrate and be together as family this time!
Take Care!
