ON THE AIRWAVES — By Lakshmi Kothaneth — John Mayer sings — When you are dreaming broken hearted, waking up is the hardest thing, on the airwaves of Radio Sultanate of Oman 90.4 FM. It is the long weekend in the country and here I am sitting in for Faiq al Mughairy who is popularly known as Faiq on the mike.
I am not really a morning person so I am taking everything in slowly. And then chose to play John Mayer. I sat there reflecting on his lyrics. A cause for broken hearted could be many things. Most importantly, we think it is because of someone else. If we are nursing a broken heart, we tend to blame it on others. On the contrary, I think it is we who are the cause of it. In most cases if we were to take time to look further why we have a heart break we would realise that the perceptions of two people concerned are totally opposite poles.
I suppose we felt heart broken when our expectations are not met. Whose expectations? Our own expectations. Can others be bothered about that? In most cases the answer would be, “no.” In addition, it is very simple — When everyone is on the rush to make a mark for him or herself, there is hardly any time or space for emotional capacity. I am not a psychologist but I am quite sure emotions are not a bad thing after all, especially if it is channelled in the right way.
In fact, successful companies across the globe apply the principles of emotional intelligence in management. EQ has become very popular indeed — it is the ability to identify, use, understand and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges and diffuse conflict. This is how the experts define it.
Wait a minute. We all must have certain element of expertise in this subject then. Most of the women are emotional at least in expressing it. We are brought up saying its OK to express our emotions. Men on the other hand will be looked down upon if they were to show their emotions. Nevertheless, the point is not in showing it or not showing it, having it or not having. To begin with, if we were to use emotional intelligence at least we should be connected to our emotions. Then comes the toughest part — managing the emotions.
When we are emotional usually, we do not want to know about the justifications, who is right or wrong. We cannot even argue properly by stating the points to make your stand clear. We run out of breath and some times even burst into tears, which would be seen as a weakness. So how do we learn to manage this emotion, which can be value added strength in management skills?
According to experts, emotional intelligence influences the way you behave and the way you interact with others. Now we know where that could lead us. This would be perfect to have the right attitude at home and office. The other advantage is if you have a high emotional intelligence, you are able to recognise your own emotional state as well as others’ emotional states. All this could lead you to achieve greater success at work and lead a more fulfiling life according to experts at Helpguide.org a non-profit resource.
In simple words, it is great to have high IQ but it is EQ that will keep you cool when you sit in for examinations.
So having the emotions is to bring you the understanding of others. Then we need to learn to manage our emotions, which I think is easier once we begin to understand from where our emotions originate. To master the concept of emotional intelligence we also need to know how to reduce our stress quickly, have a sense of humour and know how to use it, have non-verbal communication skills and have the ability to resolve conflicts in a positive manner. Can these skills be trained or do they have to be inborn? Now only experts can tell us that. I am all ears to listen to them.
I think emotional intelligence make a lot of sense. Developing this intelligence with other knowledge as part of our education will lead us to be wonderful people who could relate to each other.